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How to Make a Better Homework Schedule for Your Family

Verywell / Zackary Angeline

Why Homework Schedules Are Effective

  • Developing a Schedule

Other Considerations

Do you frequently have homework struggles with your child or teen? Or, does your student procrastinate doing their work? Maybe they even fail to turn in assignments. If any of these scenarios resonate with you, a better homework schedule may help.

A regular homework schedule establishes predictable times when homework is to be completed. Once the homework schedule has been in place for a few weeks, you may even find your child will begin doing their homework without needing to be reminded—although you may still need to monitor their work progress.

If you're struggling with homework completion in your household, or if you're having daily battles about allotting the appropriate amount of time to homework, you're not alone. That's why educators recommend developing a homework schedule—with input from your kids.

Once you set a homework schedule, then there are no questions about when the work will be done. It also communicates clear expectations; having a homework schedule helps kids understand what is required of them. And following the schedule encourages them to develop a good work ethic.

Schedules also help prevent procrastination and instill good habits like completing work on time. Homework routines also improve study skills and encourage kids to plan ahead.

Other benefits include developing your child's work ethic and organizational abilities. By helping your child complete their work at regular intervals, you are modeling how to manage time and projects in the future. When you send them off to college , they will know how to pace their work so they can avoid all-nighters at the end of the semester.

How to Develop a Homework Schedule

To develop a homework schedule, start by talking with your kids. Get their input on how they would like to manage their time and incorporate their homework into their daily routine. A successful homework schedule allows kids to finish their work and also have some free time.

Give Kids an Option

If you ask kids when they want to do their homework, their first answer might be "Never" or "Later." But if you dig a little deeper, your child may tell you what matters to them as they plan their schedule. This information will help you avoid scheduling homework during their favorite television program or when they usually get online to play games with friends.

When you include your child in the decision-making process, you also will get more buy-in from them because they know that their concerns were heard. You don't have to give them their way, but at least considering what they have to say will let them feel included. After all, this homework schedule is about them completing their homework.

Allow for Free Time

Some kids can step through the front door and buckle down on their homework right away. When this happens, they reap the reward of getting their work done early and having the rest of the evening to do what they want. But most kids need to eat and decompress a bit before tackling their assignments.

As you develop your homework schedule, keep in mind your child has already spent at least six hours in class. And this time doesn't include getting to and from school or participation in extracurricular programs . Allow kids some free time before beginning their homework if that's what they need to unwind.

Establish a Timeline

Generally, you can expect about 10 minutes of homework per grade level of school. This means that a third-grade student will need about 30 minutes to complete homework. However, the amount of time needed can vary dramatically between students, teachers, and schools.

Find out how much time your child's teacher expects homework to take each evening. If your child takes a lot of time to complete their work or struggles with homework , talk with the teacher. Your child may need extra instruction on a task or tutoring assistance—or fewer homework assignments.

Pick a Homework Spot

Designate a comfortable and efficient spot for your kids to do their homework. This workspace should be well-lit, stocked with supplies , and quiet. The workspace should allow you to provide some supervision. 

If you have multiple kids trying to complete their homework at one time, you may want to find a separate location for each child. Sometimes kids can complete their homework together at the kitchen table, but other times having siblings around can be distracting. Do what works best for your family.

Put It All Together

Now that you know what your child's needs and concerns are for finding a time to do homework, you need to come up with the actual plan. Creating a homework routine is really just one piece of creating a daily school year routine .

For the homework time itself, get it down on paper so you can see exactly what they will be doing and when they will be doing it. Do this for each day of the week if you have different activities on different weekdays. Students who are assigned larger projects will need to review their homework plans regularly to make adjustments as needed.

Expect your child to work consistently throughout the assigned time. Avoid having multiple homework sessions, such as one before dinner and a second one after dinner. Starting and stopping may mean children may spend more time getting into what they are doing than working continuously.

Be Consistent

Once you have decided on a time to do homework, stick to the plan! It usually takes about three weeks for most children to really get into the habit of their new schedule.

If your child or teen has difficulty maintaining concentration for the length of time that their homework should take, then you may want to carefully consider breaking up the work to take advantage of the time when your child can focus.

This added step is especially important for children and teens with depression or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). They may benefit from multiple smaller work sessions and more frequent breaks.

Even though the idea behind creating a homework schedule is to get your child to work consistently and independently, you may need to look over their work when they are done. This is especially important for younger children.

Make sure they understand their assignments and that they completed a reasonable amount of work during the homework session. If you find your child is having trouble actually working during their homework time, troubleshoot to find out what might be the issue. Sometimes kids need extra help and other times they simply need more motivation to get their work done.

If you find that your child continues to struggle with homework even with a schedule in place, you might need to dig a little deeper. Consider discussing your child's issues with their teacher or pediatrician.

Sometimes kids are reluctant to complete their homework because of undiagnosed learning disabilities. It could be that your child struggles with reading comprehension or has a processing disorder. Or it could be that your child is struggling with a mental health issue like anxiety .

A Word From Verywell

Establishing a homework schedule allows children to build some important life skills that will help them as they navigate high school, college, and eventually the workforce. Practice is important when kids are learning new skills. So, having a nightly homework routine enhances your child's learning. Just be sure you aren't requiring homework time at the expense of being a kid. Having time to play is just as important to a child's development as learning new material.

National Institute of Mental Health. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder .

By Lisa Linnell-Olsen Lisa Linnell-Olsen has worked as a support staff educator, and is well-versed in issues of education policy and parenting issues.

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Top 10 Homework Tips

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Kids are more successful in school when parents take an active interest in their homework — it shows kids that what they do is important.

Of course, helping with homework shouldn't mean spending hours hunched over a desk. Parents can be supportive by demonstrating study and organization skills, explaining a tricky problem, or just encouraging kids to take a break. And who knows? Parents might even learn a thing or two!

Here are some tips to guide the way:

  • Know the teachers — and what they're looking for. Attend school events, such as parent-teacher conferences, to meet your child's teachers. Ask about their homework policies and how you should be involved.
  • Set up a homework-friendly area. Make sure kids have a well-lit place to complete homework. Keep supplies — paper, pencils, glue, scissors — within reach.
  • Schedule a regular study time. Some kids work best in the afternoon, following a snack and play period; others may prefer to wait until after dinner.
  • Help them make a plan. On heavy homework nights or when there's an especially hefty assignment to tackle, encourage your child break up the work into manageable chunks. Create a work schedule for the night if necessary — and take time for a 15-minute break every hour, if possible.
  • Keep distractions to a minimum. This means no TV, loud music, or phone calls. (Occasionally, though, a phone call to a classmate about an assignment can be helpful.)
  • Make sure kids do their own work. They won't learn if they don't think for themselves and make their own mistakes. Parents can make suggestions and help with directions. But it's a kid's job to do the learning.
  • Be a motivator and monitor. Ask about assignments, quizzes, and tests. Give encouragement, check completed homework, and make yourself available for questions and concerns.
  • Set a good example. Do your kids ever see you diligently balancing your budget or reading a book? Kids are more likely to follow their parents' examples than their advice.
  • Praise their work and efforts. Post an aced test or art project on the refrigerator. Mention academic achievements to relatives.
  • If there are continuing problems with homework, get help. Talk about it with your child's teacher. Some kids have trouble seeing the board and may need glasses; others might need an evaluation for a learning problem or attention disorder.

10 Top Homework Tips for Parents

In this empowering article, we present a comprehensive guide to help parents become active partners in their child's academic journey. Homework plays a vital role in reinforcing learning, promoting responsibility, and building valuable study habits. However, it can also be a source of stress and frustration for both children and parents.

Discover a wealth of practical homework tips, strategies, and best practices that will transform homework time into a positive and productive experience. From fostering a conducive study environment to establishing a consistent routine, we explore how parents can create a supportive atmosphere that encourages their child's academic growth.

Explore effective communication techniques that bridge the gap between parents and teachers, ensuring that parents are well-informed about assignments and can offer timely assistance when needed. Uncover the importance of setting realistic expectations, acknowledging the uniqueness of each child's learning style, and avoiding undue pressure.

We'll also delve into the art of motivation and encouragement, understanding the delicate balance between supporting independence and providing guidance. Learn how to turn homework into a collaborative effort, where parents act as mentors, helping their children navigate challenges and celebrate achievements.

Incorporating insights from education experts and experienced parents, this article serves as a valuable resource for parents seeking to be proactive advocates for their child's academic success. Whether you have a kindergartener or a high schooler, these homework tips will empower you to create a positive learning environment at home and foster a lifelong love for learning in your child. Embrace this opportunity to strengthen the parent-child bond through shared educational experiences, paving the way for a brighter and more rewarding academic future.

Whether your child is in elementary, middle, or high school, every child will eventually need clear and consistent help with their homework. As homework can directly impact a child’s success in the classroom and his or her overall educational development, a parent’s involvement provides a child with encouragement, support, and direction. By using positive steps proven to boost student performance, parents can intervene before a child’s struggles with homework begin to surface.

The Importance of Homework in Cognitive Development

While children often perceive homework as a form of punishment from their teacher, practicing classroom skills at home is an integral part of the developmental process. As Nucleus Learning explains, homework serves a myriad of essential purposes for both instruction and reinforcement. Most fundamentally, homework allows students to practice skills learned in school with autonomous engagement outside the classroom. As there is a limited amount of time in each school day, children are forced to accept the educational contract that they must put in the effort both in and outside of school to master all of the required material.

Adding to this, homework allows students to “Investigate on their own, learn how to find answers to questions, show that the teacher does not have an answer to everything.” Homework allows a student to more thoroughly learn and understand the material instructed; furthermore, actively engaging in homework teaches students how to become advocates for their own learning, as they can engage in an inquiry-based process of asking questions and seeking out more answers and discoveries.

Further expounding on the importance of homework, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, the educational author of Kids, Parents and Power Struggles , asserts that parents play an immense role in a child’s successful engagement and completion of homework assignments. As she explains, “What most people don't realize is how much support their kids need with homework… It isn't something where you can just say, 'He's 10 or 12 or 15, he should just do it.’’”

Instead, a parent’s foundational support in helping their children understand and practice homework sets the child up for the scaffold of evolving responsibilities. If a child fails to acknowledge his or her responsibilities with completing mandated assignments from their teacher, the child may be heading down a dangerous path of irresponsibility, which can later impact a child’s ability to thrive in their first job or professional realms of life.

The Top Ten Homework Tips for Parents

1. Establish a Routine

The first step in creating a positive homework pathway for your child is primarily creating a routine. This may mean that parents may have to compromise with their children on the working conditions for homework time. As The Seattle Times further explicates, “That means helping students designate a set time and place where they can comfortably — and routinely — hit the books without being disturbed. Some families keep the TV off on weeknights and tape favorite shows for weekend watching. Following such a rule consistently, Kurcinka says, may avoid parent-child power struggles.” Adding to this, if a child is comfortable independently working in his or her bedroom, then parents may need to allow this freedom and choice of the child; however, if a child’s homework is incomplete or if their grades drop, then parents should immediately step in and enforce a different homework strategy and routine.

2. Create Boundaries

As the homework routine is clearly outlined and consistently enforced, parents should simultaneously create clear boundaries for their children as well. This may entail that a teenager’s cell phone must be turned off during homework time or a child’s television or radio must be off until assignments are complete.

3. Get Organized

For younger children, a parent may need to create a homework calendar that both the parent and the child can clearly access and see. This may help a child learn how to plan ahead and create a schedule for long-term elementary and middle school projects. For high school kids, this may mean a parent talks with their teen about setting progress goals for assignments daily.

4. Accountability and Responsibility

Regardless of a child’s age or school grade, a parent must immediately require their child’s personal accountability for homework and assignments. Parents should have clear rules about writing down assignments in a notebook or remembering to bring all necessary homework materials, such as books or calculators, home each night. If a child fails to hold up their end of the bargain, then the established consequences should be enforced.

5. Create a “Learning Space”

For many children, a “learning space” specifically set aside for homework can allow them to mentally enter into a “school mode” at home. This may mean that a small office is stocked with pens, paper, and necessary tools for assignments; however, on the other hand, this also may mean that a child may need to access the library each day for homework (if they are too distracted at home). Regardless of a child’s needs, a parent must create a free space for a child to complete assignments without disruptions or distractions.

6. Teach Prioritization

Children are gradually assigned more homework tasks as they progress through the school grades, and parents can intervene and teach children how to prioritize their homework assignments. If a project is due in a week, a parent can help their child set up a timeline for small daily tasks. Or, if a child is feeling overwhelmed, a parent can help them make a list of everything that must be done and then number each task to prioritize the academic responsibilities.

7. Check Your Child’s Progress

While public schools send report cards and progress reports, many schools post grades and homework assignments online. Parents can speak with their child’s teacher(s) about the best ways to check in on the student’s progress throughout the semester and school year so that students are able to consistently perform to their potential without falling behind or struggling.

8. Allow Freedoms When Earned

If a child successfully meets all of the outlined homework rules and expectations, parents can allow certain appropriate freedoms if their child seems to be excelling in their tasks and schoolwork. For example, if a child asks to change their homework time or “learning space,” parents should experiment with new freedoms as the child gradually excels with their academic responsibility. Parents can consider new privileges and rewards for their child's achievements as long as the child seems to be successfully comprehending and excelling in academic pursuits and assignments.

9. Be a Study Buddy

Many times, especially when a child feels overwhelmed with a task or assignment, parents can offer support by simply helping their child study. This involves quizzing a child, teaching a child study strategies, or also just helping a child get organized. Sometimes, giving a child attention during difficult tasks can boost a child’s morale and effort.

10. Encourage and Support

Most importantly, a parent should serve as a motivational academic cheerleader. Homework should not be a punishment or a time that’s dreaded. Approach homework with a positive attitude and consistently reward the child with positive verbal feedback. Children do not require material treats or presents for success; moreover, they thrive on verbal support and encouragement. For example, if a child consistently does their homework without complaining, remind them each day, “I love how you always do your assignments with such a great attitude. I admire your ability to do what’s assigned with such an adult work ethic!” When compliments are specific and meaningful, a child will feel more confident and motivated to continually follow through with his or her responsibilities and performance.

Questions? Contact us on Facebook. @publicschoolreview

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40 Top Parenting Tips for Navigating Homework Challenges

Top Parenting Tips for Navigating Homework Challenges

Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge

  • October 6, 2023

Navigating the intricacies of homework assignments can often feel like a maze for both parents and children alike. As someone deeply involved in child development and having worked closely with many educators, I've gathered a wealth of insights into establishing a solid homework routine. 

This article is a compilation of those tried-and-tested homework tips, aimed to ease challenges and enhance productivity. Whether you're looking to foster a deeper connection with your child's teacher or seeking effective strategies to prioritize tasks, I'm here to guide you.

Homework Tips for Parents: Break the Stress and Boost Learning Hacks from a Children’s Psychologist

Homework tip: setting up the environment.

  • Establish a Routine: Set a specific time and place for homework to create consistency and predictability.
  • Routine Consistency: Keep the routine consistent, even on weekends, so the child knows what to expect.
  • Provide a Quiet Space: Ensure your child has a quiet, well-lit, and comfortable place to work, free from distractions. 
  • Limit Distractions: Keep TVs, mobile phones, and other distracting electronics off during homework time.
  • Limit Overall Stimuli: A clutter-free workspace can reduce distractions. Try to minimize items on their workspace that they might fidget with or get distracted by.
  • Stay Organized: Use planners, calendars, or apps to keep track of assignment due dates.
  • Equip the Space: Stock the homework area with essential supplies such as pencils, paper, erasers, and rulers

Homework Tip: Instruction Support

  • Clear and Concise Instructions: Ensure instructions are short and to the point. Use visuals and watch for body language signals that show understanding.

Homework Tip - Give Clear and Concise Instructions

  • Break Tasks Into Manageable Chunks : If an assignment is extensive, break it down into smaller steps to make it more manageable.
  • Chunking Information: Divide information into smaller, more digestible chunks. This can make the work seem more manageable.
  • Set Time Limits: Use a timer to allocate specific amounts of time for each task, helping children stay on track.
  • Timers: Use a visual timer, so they can see how much time they have left to work. This can make the passage of time more tangible.
  • Teach Time Management: Help them prioritize their tasks, tackling more challenging or urgent assignments first.
  • Stay Involved: Regularly check in with your child about their assignments and progress, offering guidance when needed.
  • Interactive Tools: Consider using interactive educational tools or apps that can make learning more engaging for them.
  • Ask Them To Explain What The Task Is: Gage what your child understands before they start the task. This will help set them in the right direction and give you a sense of what they know.

Homework Tip: Brain Hacks

  • Physical Activity: Encourage short bursts of physical activity during breaks, like jumping jacks or a quick walk around the block. Physical activity can help increase attention span.
  • Encourage Breaks: For longer homework sessions, ensure kids take short breaks to rest their minds and bodies.
  • Offer Healthy Snacks : Brain-boosting snacks can help maintain energy and focus during study time. Fizzy drinks such as a seltzer-magnesium drink can stimulate and calm the brain.
  • Shorter Work Periods: Divide homework time into shorter, more frequent sessions. For instance, instead of a continuous 30-minute session, try three 10-minute sessions with short breaks in between.
  • Visual Schedules: Use visual aids like charts or diagrams to outline the tasks that need completion. This can help them understand what's expected and track their progress.
  • Tactile Tools: For some children, using tactile tools like stress balls or fidget toys can help them channel their extra energy and maintain focus.

Homework Tip - Brain Hacks

  • Background Music: Some children focus better with low-volume, non-distracting background music or white noise. But others are stressed by it , so play around and do what works best for them (not you!). 
  • Color Coding: Use colors to categorize and prioritize tasks. This can help visually differentiate and organize their work.
  • Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, visualization, or even short meditation sessions can help center their attention.

Homework Tip: Monitoring, Communication and Positive Reinforcement

  • Stay Positive : In your own mindset. Focus on the effort and improvements, not just the end result. Praise hard work and resilience.
  • Encourage Independence Over Time: While it's essential to offer support, allow kids to complete assignments on their own as they build skills before you check the work. This fosters responsibility and self-reliance.
  • Be Available for Questions: Make sure your child knows they can come to you if they have questions or need clarification on a topic.
  • Connect Learning to Real Life: Help your child see the real-world applications of what they're learning to make it more engaging.
  • Review Completed Assignments: Go over finished homework to ensure understanding and check for errors, but avoid doing the work for them.
  • Explain Consequences and Establish Rewards: Positive reinforcement can motivate your child. Consider rewards for consistent homework completion.
  • Encourage a Growth Mindset: Teach your child to see challenges as opportunities for growth. Emphasize the value of persistence and learning from mistakes. Talk to kids about how regular practice builds skills even when the learning is hard!
  • Positive Reinforcement: Reinforce positive behavior immediately. If they've focused well for a short span, reward that effort to encourage repetition of the desired behavior.
  • Active Participation: Encourage them to engage actively with their work, such as reading aloud or teaching the content back to you. This can reinforce their understanding and attention.
  • Regular Check-ins: Check in more frequently during their homework sessions, offering guidance, encouraging movement to support brain alertness.
  • Immediate Feedback: Give immediate feedback on their work. This keeps them engaged and lets them know they're on the right track.
  • Open Communication: Ensure your child feels comfortable discussing their challenges with you. Sometimes, they might have insights into what might help them focus better.

Long Game Parent Homework Tips

  • Stay Informed: If your child has a diagnosed attention disorder, like ADHD, stay updated with the latest strategies and recommendations specific to their needs. You can join our CALM Brain Parenting Community for science-backed solutions to support attention and learning. 
  • Stay in Touch with Teachers: Regular communication with educators can give insights into how your child is doing and where they might need additional help. They may benefit from school accommodations or more formal IEP support .
  • Seek External Support: If focus issues persist, consider seeking help from a tutor, educational therapist, or counselor familiar with attention challenges.

Reflecting on these pivotal parent homework tips, it becomes evident that with the right strategies, we can turn potential struggles into stepping stones for success. By instilling a consistent homework routine and maintaining open communication with your child, we're setting the stage for academic achievements. 

Each child is a unique individual, and it's crucial to discover what resonates best with them during homework time. It is also important to look for root causes better and better understand why your child is struggling . 

With these tools at your disposal, I'm confident in your ability to lead your child through the myriad tasks and challenges that lie ahead. Together, let's make every homework session a journey of growth and discovery and tamp down frustration!

Always remember… “Calm Brain, Happy Family™”

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to give health advice and it is recommended to consult with a physician before beginning any new wellness regime. *The effectiveness of diagnosis and treatment vary by patient and condition. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC does not guarantee certain results.

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How to Establish a Great Homework Routine

Are you tired of disorganization when it comes to your child’s homework? Or having to nag your child about when and how they will get their homework done? A great homework routine can put an end to these struggles. Establishing the right homework routine will create good study habits that will help your child from Kindergarten through high school and beyond. Here’s how to set one up!

Establishing a Homework Routine that Works!

homework routine

1. Schedule Time for Homework

You probably have things in your own life, whether it’s cleaning the house, doing your taxes, or getting together with friends, where if you don’t put it on your schedule it isn’t going to happen.

The same thing is true for homework. If you want to establish a homework routine, you need to plan time for homework on the family calendar.

The ideal situation is for homework to happen at the same time every day. Whether it’s directly after school or after your child has a little time to snack and unwind. It should be part of the daily routine.

If your child has after-school activities that make homework at the same time every day impossible, make sure you still schedule time for homework. And try to at least have a weekly schedule that is consistent regarding homework time.

You’ll want to make sure you allow enough time for homework to be completed. Talk to your child’s teacher about their expectations for time spent on homework to help determine how much time you need.

It’s also a good idea to talk to your child about when they want to do their homework. Discuss with them what they feel is the best time of day for homework. This doesn’t mean they get the final say about timing, but older kids especially may have strong feelings about a time that works for them.

And when you choose a time, consider whether your child needs some food and exercise before they sit down for a long stretch.

homework routine

2. Choose a Homework Space

Once you have the timing down for your homework routine, you need to consider the location. Do you have a designated homework area with desks and supplies? Or do your kids spread their stuff out on the kitchen table at homework time?

When you decide on the best homework space, you want to consider a few factors. Does your child work better when they are alone and free of distractions? Or do they need you nearby to help them with questions and encourage them to stay on task?

Some kids need background noise, others work best in silence. You may even need to set your kids up in different areas from each other if they have different needs for completing their homework in a stress-free environment.

Try to keep individual needs in mind when you consider the best place in your home for school work. And set your kids up for success.

homework routine

3. Establish Rules for Homework Time

A great homework routine will include some rules for how that time will be spent. This may include rules about silencing cell phones and putting them away during homework time.

Rules around electronics and other distractions are some of the most important. Sure, your child may need a tablet or computer for their homework sometimes. But other electronics are likely to be an endless source of distraction.

Consider whether you need to set rules and time limits for breaks during homework time. Sure, kids may need to get up and stretch their legs or use the bathroom. But an endless stream of excuses for breaks won’t result in homework being completed.

You may also want to establish some rules around your role in their homework. Will you be checking their work to make sure it’s completed? Or will it be more on the honor system? And your child’s age will be a huge factor here.

A great homework routine should help your child work towards greater independence when it comes to school work as they get older. You can’t go off to college with them. So, as your child gets older, they should become more responsible for completing their homework with minimal reminders and check-ins with mom and dad.

Stick to It!

When you’re trying to establish any new routine, there is going to be some adjustment time. Commit to sticking it out with your homework routine, even if you face some initial resistance. Once the routine becomes a habit, it will be such a part of daily life for your kids that battles over homework will be few and infrequent. And your kids will be on the path to greater self-sufficiency and success with school work.

How ti Establish a Great Homework Routine

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11 Best Homework Tips for Parents

11 Best Homework Tips for Parents

As a parent, you understand the importance of a solid education for your children. High school homework is integral to their learning experience, and your support can significantly impact their success. With that in mind, we've compiled a list of the top 11 homework tips for parents. These tips will help you provide the guidance and encouragement your children need while fostering their independence and confidence in their abilities.

1. Establish a Routine Creating a consistent homework routine is crucial for your child's success. Set aside a specific time each day for homework, ideally when your child is well-rested and alert. For example, you could establish a routine where your child works on their homework immediately after dinner. Another example could be setting a routine where your child works on their homework for an hour after school, followed by a short break and snack, and then resumes work for another hour. This schedule allows them to tackle their assignments while their mind is still in "school mode" and ensures they have time to unwind later in the evening.

2. Create a Conducive Environment Designate a quiet, comfortable space for your child to work on homework. This area should be free of distractions, such as TV, phones, or loud noises, and have all necessary supplies within reach. A well-organized environment can improve focus and efficiency. For instance, create a dedicated workspace with a comfortable chair, proper lighting, and easy access to pencils, paper, and other materials.

homework rules for parents

3. Encourage Organization Teach your child the importance of staying organized using planners, calendars, or to-do lists. This will help them prioritize assignments, track deadlines, and break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, you can introduce a color-coded calendar system to help them keep track of different subjects or assignment types. Another example could be using a digital tasks management tool like Trello or Notion to help them create project boards for each subject. They can create cards for individual assignments, set due dates, and add labels for priority levels. This approach allows them to visualize their tasks and stay organized while introducing them to helpful digital tools.

4. Be Available for Guidance Let your child know you support them and answer questions when needed. However, avoid providing direct answers or doing the work for them. Instead, guide them towards finding the solutions themselves, fostering problem-solving skills and independence. Consider leveraging resources like Tutorpeers, where peer tutors can always help.

5. Break Tasks into Smaller Chunks If your child is overwhelmed by a large assignment, encourage them to break it into smaller, more manageable tasks. For example, if they have a lengthy essay, have them focus on researching and outlining the topic first, then draft individual sections. This can reduce anxiety and make the work less daunting, ultimately improving focus and productivity.

homework rules for parents

6. Teach Time Management Skills Help your child develop strong time management skills by setting realistic goals and deadlines for each assignment. Encourage them to estimate how long each task will take and schedule adequate time for completion. This will help them avoid procrastination and last-minute cramming. For example, you could teach them to use the Pomodoro Technique , which involves working in focused intervals (usually 25 minutes) followed by a short break. This method helps them maintain a balanced approach to their work and breaks, promoting efficiency and reducing the likelihood of burnout.

7. Praise Effort, Not Just Results Recognizing and celebrating your child's hard work is essential, even if they don't always achieve excellent results. Focusing on their effort and improvement can boost their confidence and motivate them to continue trying their best. For instance, praise them for their progress in a challenging subject rather than solely on their final grade.

8. Communicate with Teachers Maintain open lines of communication with your child's teachers or tutors. Stay informed about upcoming assignments, tests, and projects, and ask for feedback on your child's progress. This will help you identify areas where they may need extra support. For example, you can schedule a monthly check-in with your child's teacher, either in person or via email, to discuss their academic performance, any areas of concern, and potential strategies for improvement. This proactive approach demonstrates your commitment to your child's education and helps you stay well-informed about their progress.

9. Model Good Habits Children often learn by example, so demonstrate good study habits yourself. Show them how you manage your time, organize your tasks, and focus on your goals. By modeling these positive behaviors, you can inspire your child to adopt similar habits. For example, let your child see you working on your projects or tasks, such as reading, writing, or managing household finances, while maintaining a structured routine.

10. Encourage Reading Developing strong reading habits can significantly impact your child's learning abilities. Encourage them to read regularly, both for school assignments and pleasure. Reading helps expand vocabulary, improve comprehension, and boost critical thinking skills. In today's digital age, reading can extend beyond traditional books. Make reading enjoyable and diverse by exploring various formats and sources, such as e-books, blogs, news articles, and educational websites. You can also set aside a specific time for family reading, where each member shares an exciting piece they found online, fostering curiosity and a love for reading in a modern context.

11. Monitor Screen Time In today's digital age, monitoring your child's screen time and ensuring they use electronic devices responsibly is essential. Set boundaries for device usage during homework and study time, and encourage them to engage in other activities that promote learning and creativity, such as puzzles, board games, or arts and crafts.

Your active involvement in your child's education can significantly impact their academic success. By following these top 11 homework tips for parents and utilizing resources like Tutorpeers, you'll be well-equipped to guide and support your child through their educational journey, fostering independence, confidence, and a love for learning.

Q: Is it OK for parents to help with homework? A: Yes, it is OK for parents to help with homework, but it's essential to balance providing support and fostering independence. Be available for guidance and answer questions, but avoid giving direct answers or doing the work for them. Instead, guide them toward finding solutions and encourage them to develop problem-solving skills.

Q: Should I check my child's homework? A: Checking your child's homework can help identify areas where they may need extra support or encouragement. However, avoid being overly intrusive or controlling. Focus on providing constructive feedback and praising their efforts and improvements rather than just pointing out mistakes.

Q: Can I refuse homework for my child? A: As a parent, you can discuss concerns about homework with your child's teacher or school administration, but outright homework refusal may not be advisable. Homework is typically assigned to reinforce learning and help students develop essential skills. Addressing concerns through open communication with the school and working together to find solutions is a more practical approach.

Q: What percent of parents are helping with homework? A: The percentage of parents who help with homework varies, but studies have shown that many parents are involved in their child's homework to some extent. Parental involvement can positively impact a child's academic performance, but it's essential to provide guidance and encouragement without hindering their independence and problem-solving abilities.

Q: How to motivate kids to do homework? A: To motivate kids to do homework, try establishing a consistent routine, creating a conducive environment, breaking tasks into smaller chunks, teaching time management skills, and praising effort rather than just results. Involving your child in setting goals and acknowledging their achievements can also encourage them to stay motivated and engaged in their learning process.

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High-School Homework Checklist for Parents

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  • Try to find a separate space for each of your kids, or schedule quiet times for homework in designated spaces.
  • Help your kid get onto a regular schedule during the week that includes ample time each day for studying, exercise, eating, some socializing, and enough sleep.
  • Limit TV time, and do not allow it during homework.
  • When possible, be available to answer questions or just discuss what your kid is learning.
  • See if the school has a homework hotline or a webpage (that lists your kid's assignments) and/or a homework helpline (assistance for your kid).
  • Advocate for your kid at school, and build relationships with your kid's teachers and coaches.

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Homework without tears: 12 homework tips for parents.

Summer is over and schools are in session which means families are getting back into weeknight routines and dusting off their homework skills. 

Luckily those negative aspects are preventable by making homework an important priority for your family and trying out these 12 helpful homework tips:

1. Limit Distractions. Create a homework zone for your students that is away from the T.V. and other places where there could be distractions such as pets, people coming and going and loud noises.

2. Provide Tools. Make sure the materials your student may need are readily available. It’s helpful to have a stash of pencils, pens, a dictionary, etc. available. Check in regularly and make sure that any special materials needed for class projects are provided so their work won’t be disturbed.

3. Help Manage Time. Establish a set time for doing homework. Don’t wait until just before bedtime to do homework when students are tired and easily distracted. Think about using a weekend morning or afternoon for working on big projects, especially if the project involves getting together with other classmates.

4. Be Positive. The attitude you express toward homework will be the same attitude your child acquires. Make it a habit to tell your child that the work they’re doing is important.

5. Do YOUR Homework Too. Show that the skills they’re learning are related to things you also do as an adult. If your student is reading, you could be reading too. If your student is practicing math, you could balance your checkbook.

6. Teach Don’t Tell.  It’s important that when asked for help you give guidance but not answers, that way your student learns the material and concepts. Remember that a lot can be learned from struggle and that too much help can teach your child that when the going gets rough, someone will do the work for them.

7. Cooperate. Teachers will often ask that you play a role in your child’s homework. Make sure you’re being an advocate for the teacher and follow their direction so you can show that school and home are a team.

8. Foster Independence. Some homework is really intended for students to do alone. Homework is a great way for kids to develop independence and accountability for lifelong learning skills.

9. Communicate. Make sure you talk to your child’s teacher and understand the purpose of homework and what the class rules are.

10. Build Metacognitive Skills. Help your child decide what homework is hard and what is easy, then encourage them to work on the hard stuff first so they’re most alert for challenging work.

11. Set Break Time. Watch your child for signs of failure and frustration. Let your child take a short break if they’re is having trouble keeping their mind on the assignment. Build perseverance but set time limits to avoid burnout.

12. Reward Progress and Effort. When your child has been successful and is working hard, celebrate success with a special event to reinforce positive effort. 

How Much is Really Enough?

These numbers are estimates and the actual time doing homework at night can vary with each child’s motivation and interest level.

  • K-2: 10-20 Minutes
  • 3-6: 30-60 Minutes
  • Mid/High School: 60 Minutes,but varies greatly based on class load

Different Types of Homework

Not all homework is equal! It’s important to know the type of homework your child’s teacher has assigned  and what their homework policy is. Here are four examples of homework you might see this year:

1. Practice Homework. Just like it sounds, this type of homework is designed to help your student learn and remember key concepts taught in the classroom.

2. Preparation Homework. This homework consists of material that hasn’t been taught in the classroom just yet, so these assignments are designed to introduce your child to the content that will help them acquire concepts taught later on in class.

3. Extension Homework. Students are asked to apply their skills to other content or a special project in this homework style that is usually assigned over a period of time.

4. Integration Homework. This homework is similar to extension, but often results in a class presentation or event like a science fair.

Helpful Websites for Parents

Many of us go to the internet when we want to help our students with homework or to play educational games, but with so many websites to choose from it can be difficult to identify the most high-quality resources. Here are few resources you and your student can use at home:

  • Calculation Nation - This site was developed by the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics and uses interactive games organized around upper elementary and middle grades math curriculum. Students will need to establish an account to play online with games that promote learning and practice with fractions, factors, multiples, and more.
  • The California Math Council - This resource offers a section dedicated to free math education articles and activities for students from pre-K through high school.
  • Thinkfinity - Thousands of math focused resources have been screened by educators to ensure accurate content and up-to-date information is made available for students. Resources are even grouped by grade and subject area to make finding resources simple!
  • Figure This! -  Primarily focused on middle school students, Figure This! provides math challenges for students and families.
  • The Math Forum -  This interactive site gives families the option to “ Ask Dr. Math ”, take on an internet math hunt or compete in one of the many weekly and monthly math challenges based on grade level.
  • Illustrative Mathematics - Visit this site to find mathematical tasks that closely illustrate all of the Common Core Standards for each grade.
  • Nat’l Library of Virtual Manipulatives - This site is home to hundreds of virtual manipulatives sorted by grade level and interactive tutorials that engage students in algebra, geometry, probability and measurement. Nat’l Library of Virtual Manipulatives promotes three key areas of mathematics: procedural skills, conceptual understanding and problem solving.

While the internet is a great place for students to find important resources for their homework assignments and motivation, not all sites are the same. It is imperative that children are taught internet safety and how to access quality resources. Ensure that your kids are responsible and safe with their internet usage!

Has your teacher assigned ST Math as homework? Read our Parent's Guide to ST Math at Home .

Amber Orenstein

About the Author

Amber Orenstein was an education consultant for MIND in Colorado.

Everyday Problems + Math = Family Fun

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9 Smart Tips for Homework Success

Help kids manage their homework load with these strategies..

Even children who enjoy doing homework can lose their enthusiasm for it over the course of the school year, and find ways to stall or avoid doing it. But after-school study time is important, both for reinforcing the day’s learning and for lending structure to your child’s day.

“Homework isn’t just about academics,” says Karen Burke, SVP of Data Analysis and Academic Planning, Scholastic Education Solutions. “It can help students create routines and build responsible behaviors.”

Playing cop rarely works — micromanaging and nagging only make kids feel incapable or frustrated. Instead, think of yourself as a coach and cheerleader. 

“Generally, the idea of homework should be to help students set goals, build independence, and practice applying the knowledge they are gaining,” says Burke.

To help you get there, we asked teachers and parents to share their strategies for solving the most common homework struggles. These 10 tips will bring harmony back into your homework routine, whether your child is a kindergartner or 5th grader, perfectionist or procrastinator.

1. Do It Early

Give your child a time frame in which to get down to business. In your household, this may be before or after extracurriculars.

Work with your child to identify the time when their energy and focus are at their peak. This gives your child some control over their schedule. (Some kids need a longer break after school, and others need to start right away to keep the momentum going.) 

However, plan on 5 p.m. being the latest they can start their homework.

2. Phone a Friend

From kindergarten onward, kids should have a list of three or four classmates they can call on when they forget an assignment, or even just to ask a question. Study buddies can provide motivation for each other to get the work done. 

3. Collaborate to Build Confidence

When kids don’t understand a concept right away, they may feel like they’re not smart enough and start to shut down, says Sigrid Grace, a 2nd grade teacher in Michigan. 

Short-circuit negative thinking by sitting down with your child and figuring out the first problem in the assignment together. This should help jog their memory to complete the rest. Then, heap on the praise: “You did a great job on that one! Try the next one now.”

4. Change the Scenery

Sometimes something as simple as changing up their workspace can boost a child’s motivation and, in turn, their confidence. If your child has been working alone at a desk or designated study nook, perhaps they’d be more comfortable doing their homework in a public area, like the kitchen table while you’re preparing dinner. 

Conversely, if they’ve been working in a high-traffic part of the house, they might need a more private space in which to focus. 

5. Keep the Positive Feedback Coming

Younger kids need instant feedback, so it’s okay for parents of young grade-schoolers to correct mistakes, says Grace, the 2nd grade teacher. Follow this up with specific praise about what your child has done well.

6. Leave the Room

“Kids who drag things out are often doing so for your attention — they’re enjoying the interaction on some level,” explains Grace. “Avoid joining in.”

If you must stay in the room, have your child work in a spot that’s farther away from whatever you’re doing.

7. Beat the Clock

Sometimes procrastinators just need a jump-start. If that’s true for your child, try this: 

Set a timer for five minutes and have your child work as quickly and steadily as they can until the timer goes off. At that point, they can choose to take a short break or keep going — many kids continue.

“Racing against a timer gives kids an external sense of urgency if they don’t have an internal one,” says Ann Dolin, a former educator. 

However, a timed work session is not an excuse for sloppy work. Make sure your child reviews theirs before submitting it.

8. Plan, Plan, Plan

To get the most out of your days, include every appointment — from sports practice to meals to reading time — on a big calendar or schedule log and stick it in a central place where every member of the household can see it. 

If you know that certain nights present a conflict with your child’s homework schedule, you can ask for the week’s assignments upfront and work with your child to decide the best times to complete them, says Cathy Vatterott, a professor of education at the University of Missouri-St. Louis. 

“Teachers will often work with you on this, but most parents are afraid to ask,” she says.

9. Let ’Em Vent 

If your child is resisting doing their homework — or worse, is tearing up over it in frustration — soothe any pent-up worries by letting them complain. Listen, empathize (“Wow, that is a lot of work”), and state their feelings back to them (“You sound upset”). 

Once your child feels understood, they’ll be more likely to accept your suggestions, says Dolin — and better able to focus on what needs to be done.

You can also help by talking to your child about what they remember from class and steering them to the textbook. If they’re still lost, have them write a note to the teacher explaining that they don’t understand.

Get ready for your child to go back to school with our guide — it's full of recommended books, tips to help if your child is struggling with homework , and more resources for starting the year off right . 

Shop workbooks and learning kits to support good homework habits. You can find all books and activities at The Scholastic Store .

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Homework: The Good and The Bad

Young boy sitting at a table doing homework

Homework.  A single word that for many brings up memories of childhood stress. Now that you’re a parent, you may be reminded of that feeling every time your child spills their backpack across the table. You also may be questioning how much homework is too much and wondering how you can best help your child with their schoolwork.

Here, Dr. Cara Goodwin of Parenting Translator explains what the research actually says about homework. She outlines specific ways parents can support their kids to maximize the academic benefits and develop lifelong skills in time management and persistence.

In recent years, many parents and educators have raised concerns about homework. Specifically, they have questioned how much it enhances learning and if its benefits outweigh potential costs, such as stress to the family.

So, what does the research say?

Academic benefits vs risks of homework

One of the most important questions when it comes to homework is whether it actually helps kids understand the content better. So does it? Research finds that homework is associated with higher scores on academic standardized tests for middle and high school students, but not for elementary school students (1, 2).

In other words, homework seems to have little impact on learning in elementary school students. 

Additionally, a 2012 study found that while homework is related to higher standardized test scores for high schoolers, it is not related to higher grades.

Not surprisingly, homework is more likely to be associated with improved academic performance when students and teachers find the homework to be meaningful or relevant, according to several studies (1, 3, 4). Students tend to find homework to be most engaging when it involves solving real-world problems (5).  

The impact of homework may also depend on socioeconomic status. Students from higher income families show improved academic skills with more homework and gain more knowledge from homework, according to research. On the other hand, the academic performance of more disadvantaged children seems to be unaffected by homework (6, 7). This may be because homework provides additional stress for disadvantaged children. They are less likely to get help from their parents on homework and more likely to be punished by teachers for not completing it (8).

Non-academic benefits vs risks of homework

Academic outcomes are only part of the picture. It is important to look at how homework affects kids in ways other than grades and test scores.

Homework appears to have benefits beyond improving academic skills, particularly for younger students. These benefits include building responsibility, time management skills, and persistence (1, 9, 10). In addition, homework may also increase parents’ involvement in their children’s schooling (11, 12, 13, 14).

Yet, studies show that too much homework has drawbacks. It can reduce children’s opportunities for free play, which is essential for the development of language, cognitive, self-regulation, and social-emotional skills (15). It may also interfere with physical activity, and too much homework is associated with an increased risk for being overweight (16, 17). 

In addition to homework reducing opportunities for play, it also leads to increased conflicts and stress for families. For example, research finds that children with more hours of homework experience more academic stress, physical health problems, and lack of balance in their lives (18). 

Clearly, more is not better when it comes to homework.

What is the “right” amount of homework? 

Recent reports indicate that elementary school students are assigned three times the recommended amount of homework. Even kindergarten students report an average of 25 minutes of homework per day (19).

Additionally, the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) found that homework has been increasing in recent years for younger students. Specifically, 35% of 9-year-olds reported that they did not do homework the previous night in 1984 versus 22% of 9-years-old in 2012. However, homework levels have stayed relatively stable for 13- and 17-year-olds during this same time period. 

Research suggests that homework should not exceed 1.5 to 2.5 hours per night for high school students and no more than 1 hour per night for middle school students (1). Homework for elementary school students should be minimal and assigned with the aim of building self-regulation and independent work skills. A common rule , supported by both the National Education Association (NEA) and National Parent Teacher Association (PTA), is 10-minutes of homework per grade in elementary school. Any more than this and homework may no longer have a positive impact. Importantly, the NEA and the National PTA do not endorse homework for kindergarteners.

How can parents best help with homework?

Most parents feel that they are expected to be involved in their children’s homework (20). Yet, it is often unclear exactly how to be involved in a way that helps your child to successfully complete the assignment without taking over entirely. Most studies find that parental help is important but that it matters more HOW the parent is helping rather than how OFTEN the parent is helping (21).

While this can all feel very overwhelming for parents, there are some simple guidelines you can follow to ease the homework burden and best support your child’s learning.

1. Help only when needed.

Parents should focus on providing general monitoring, guidance and encouragement. Allow children to generate answers on their own and complete their homework as independently as possible . This is important because research shows that allowing children more independence in completing homework benefits their academic skills (22, 23). In addition, too much parent involvement and being controlling with homework is associated with worse academic performance (21, 24, 25). 

What does this look like?

  • Be present when your child is completing homework to help them to understand the directions.
  • Be available to answer simple questions and to provide praise for their effort and hard work.
  • Only provide help when your child asks for it and step away whenever possible.

2. Have structure and routines.

Help your child create structure and to develop some routines. This helps children become more independent in completing their homework. Research finds that providing this type of structure and responsiveness is related to improved academic skills (25).

This structure may include:

  • A regular time and place for homework that is free from distractions.
  • Have all of the materials they need within arm’s reach.
  • Teach and encourage kids to create a checklist for their homework tasks each day.

Parents can also help their children to find ways to stay motivated. For example, developing their own reward system or creating a homework schedule with breaks for fun activities.

3. Set specific rules around homework.

Research finds that parents setting rules around homework is related to higher academic performance (26). For example, parents may require that children finish homework before screen time or may require children to stop doing homework and go to sleep at a certain hour. 

4. Emphasize learning over outcome.

Encourage your child to persist in challenging assignments and frame difficult assignments as opportunities to grow. Research finds that this attitude is associated with student success (20). Research also indicates that more challenging homework is associated with enhanced school performance (27).

Additionally, help your child to view homework as an opportunity to learn and improve skills. Parents who view homework as a learning opportunity rather than something that they must get “right” or complete successfully to obtain a higher grade are more likely to have children with the same attitudes (28). 

5. Stay calm and positive.

Yes, we know this is easier said than done, but it does have a big impact on how kids persevere when things get hard! Research shows that mothers showing positive emotions while helping with homework may improve children’s motivation in homework (29)

6. Praise hard work and effort. 

Praise focused on effort is likely to increase motivation (30). In addition, research finds that putting more effort into homework may be associated with enhanced development of conscientiousness in children (31).

7. Communicate with your child’s teacher.

Let your child’s teacher know about any problems your child has with homework and the teachers’ learning goals. Research finds that open communication about homework is associated with improved school performance (32). 

List of 7 strategies for parents to help with homework

In summary, research finds that homework provides some academic benefit for middle- and high-school students but is less beneficial for elementary school students. As a parent, how you are involved in your child’s homework really matters. By following these evidence-based tips, you can help your child to maximize the benefits of homework and make the process less painful for all involved!

For more resources, take a look at our recent posts on natural and logical consequences and simple ways to decrease challenging behaviors .

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  • Shernoff, D. J., Csikszentmihalyi, M., Schneider, B., & Shernoff, E. S. (2014). Student engagement in high school classrooms from the perspective of flow theory. In  Applications of flow in human development and education  (pp. 475-494). Springer, Dordrecht.
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  • Galloway, M., Conner, J., & Pope, D. (2013). Nonacademic effects of homework in privileged, high-performing high schools.  The journal of experimental education ,  81 (4), 490-510.
  • Pressman, R. M., Sugarman, D. B., Nemon, M. L., Desjarlais, J., Owens, J. A., & Schettini-Evans, A. (2015). Homework and family stress: With consideration of parents’ self confidence, educational level, and cultural background.  The American Journal of Family Therapy ,  43 (4), 297-313.
  • Hoover-Dempsey, K. V., Battiato, A. C., Walker, J. M., Reed, R. P., DeJong, J. M., & Jones, K. P. (2001). Parental involvement in homework.  Educational psychologist ,  36 (3), 195-209.
  • Moroni, S., Dumont, H., Trautwein, U., Niggli, A., & Baeriswyl, F. (2015). The need to distinguish between quantity and quality in research on parental involvement: The example of parental help with homework.  The Journal of Educational Research ,  108 (5), 417-431.
  • Cooper, H., Lindsay, J. J., & Nye, B. (2000). Homework in the home: How student, family, and parenting-style differences relate to the homework process.  Contemporary educational psychology ,  25 (4), 464-487.
  • Dumont, H., Trautwein, U., Lüdtke, O., Neumann, M., Niggli, A., & Schnyder, I. (2012). Does parental homework involvement mediate the relationship between family background and educational outcomes?.  Contemporary Educational Psychology ,  37 (1), 55-69.
  • Barger, M. M., Kim, E. M., Kuncel, N. R., & Pomerantz, E. M. (2019). The relation between parents’ involvement in children’s schooling and children’s adjustment: A meta-analysis.  Psychological bulletin ,  145 (9), 855.
  • Dumont, H., Trautwein, U., Nagy, G., & Nagengast, B. (2014). Quality of parental homework involvement: predictors and reciprocal relations with academic functioning in the reading domain.  Journal of Educational Psychology ,  106 (1), 144.
  • Patall, E. A., Cooper, H., & Robinson, J. C. (2008). The effects of choice on intrinsic motivation and related outcomes: a meta-analysis of research findings.  Psychological bulletin ,  134 (2), 270.Dettmars et al., 2010
  • Madjar, Shklar, & Moshe, 2016)
  • Pomerantz, E. M., Grolnick, W. S., & Price, C. E. (2005). The Role of Parents in How Children Approach Achievement: A Dynamic Process Perspective.
  • Haimovitz, K., Wormington, S. V., & Corpus, J. H. (2011). Dangerous mindsets: How beliefs about intelligence predict motivational change.  Learning and Individual Differences ,  21 (6), 747-752.Gollner et al., 2017
  • Hill, N. E., & Tyson, D. F. (2009). Parental involvement in middle school: a meta-analytic assessment of the strategies that promote achievement.  Developmental psychology ,  45 (3), 740.

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Helping Kids with Homework: 11 Easy & Do-Able Tips for Parents

Tips for Smart Parenting 09/21/2021 11 minute read

Homework is the bane of every student, as it is for the parents.

As a matter of fact, homework is not even necessary in the first place.

Before you react, there are countless studies to validate this claim. But even if we go on a hard-fought, well-thought, debate on whether homework is important or not, homework is here to stay. 

That said, helping kids with their take-home assignments is a duty we have to fulfill. But how exactly do we do it?

Below are actionable parenting tips to help your kids with their homework without doing it for them!

You might be interested:  How to Support Kids Learning Science and Why it Matters?

Parenting Tips on How to Do Homework with Kids

We used to believe that parental availability and support while kids do their assignments is key for their class success. "The more involved parents are, the better off they would be," so to speak. 

But that is a misconception and sometimes may even be counterproductive. As Kathleen Reilly said:

“When parents are overly immersed in homework, they deny kids the chance to become more independent and confident. Worse, it can breed anxiety along the way.” 

Helping kids with homework means that you offer your support but never treat the assignment like it's your responsibility. It's challenging, but kids need to do homework on their own because the assignments deal with lessons already discussed in class. Plus, answering homework by themselves is a good way to teach independent learning .

With that in mind, here are the homework tips for parents:

1. Work Out a Working Routine

Believe it or not, children love routines because they create structure .

This helps children feel more secure because they know what to do and what's expected of them.

Face it, nobody likes homeworks. But make it easier for your kids to do their's by doing routines such as below:

What time should they start? Set a definite time when they should do their homeworks. Will it be right after they arrive from school? Should they play for an hour first? Would they do it after shower time or after dinner?

Where is their homework place? The place they choose is likely the area they feel most comfy working in. That element adds extra help when doing homework. Find a place and stick with it.

If you have multiple kids, distinct routines for each are fine. What matters is that you enforce discipline and commitment to the schedule. Write the details on a sheet of paper and post their routines on the wall!

2. Make a Homework Plan

The routine simply tackles the when and where kids do their assignments. A homework plan focuses on how they do it. 

Doing homework needs to be systematic , both for you and the child. Approach homework from a systematic point of view and you save yourselves time and whine.

The example below is the system I found most suited for my children. You can follow it or fashion your own process, whichever works best. Here's what my kids do:

Read  the directions of the homework, twice.

Determine the goal and the steps needed to achieve it.

Divide the assignment into several chunks (if logically possible).

Set time limits for each portion and mark each as complete when finished.

Helping kids with homework is not about giving them all the answers. It's about  strategizing on how to finish the homework effectively and efficiently.

3. Monitor, Don't Correct

Let's get back to basics .

What is the purpose of homework?

Homework allows teachers to gauge what the students understood in class. That said, mistakes are welcomed.

But since most parents dread the idea of making mistakes, they try to  correct each flaw too often all for a perfect remark.

Word of advice: Teachers are well-aware of how your kids perform in class, so they know the truth.

My point is, remove the notion of absolute perfection from your kids.

It's okay to make mistakes, as long as they learn how to correct them on their own ! There should be no pressure on them to avoid mistakes at all costs. Encourage an atmosphere of growth. But, make it clear to your kids they should resolve their mistakes the next time around, once they understand the correct answer.

Do this instead:

Allow your kids to ask you up to 3 questions on their homework. But, be stingy on answering their questions right away.

When they ask, reply to them something like "I can help you once I finish my chores" or "Read it again, I'll be back in a sec."

You might not realize it, but this is one subtle way to help kids with homework. When you delay your aid, you gently force them to reread the directions and rework the problem on their own.

Monitor and ask them probing questions on the reason behind their homework answers.

4. Set an Example to Imitate

Helping kids how to do homework can also mean modeling the behavior to them. This is a parenting hack that most parents fail to practice.

It can be a good motivating factor for the kids if you do chores like budgeting or computing household expenses at the same time they do their assignments.

This is one indirect way to teach kids how to do homework. Set a good example and you'll find them following your footsteps.

5. Don't Sit Beside Them

Sitting and closely monitoring your kids as they answer homework is not at all helpful.

Behind the scenes, it sends a message to their brains that you might think they can't do the work without direct supervision.

Would you like that? Of course not!

Helping kids with their homework should also tap into the emotional aspect of learning. Show them that you trust their brains by letting them do their assignment on their own. Otherwise, you shatter their self-confidence leading to feelings of inferiority.

Here are my suggestions:

Stay nearby, do chores, balance your checks, wash dishes. Basically, just be there for them, without literally sitting beside them.

6. Establish the No-Nonsense Responsibility

Make the duties of each member in the family clear.

Of course, both you and your partner have work responsibilities, and so do the kids! They're expected to be diligent with their responsibilities:

Attend classes

Work with their teachers

And of course... do their homeworks

Once they agreed to a working routine and a homework plan , then there is no turning back. Tell them to buckle their seats until they finish their tasks. Discipline matters just as much as intellect and system when dealing with homework.

7. Teach Them Time Management 

Time management is the one of the most important tools for productivity.

Once your kids learn the benefits of being in control of their time, they position themselves to a life of success. Time management is not only relevant for homework. Instilling this behavior is a must from the get-go.

One tip is using an old analog wall clock and coloring in the hour when they should do answer their homework. Once the short arm reaches it, teach them to take initiative to do their tasks.

Help them in sorting the time out too, especially, if there are multiple homework in one seating.

8. Positive Reinforcement is a Great Hack

They say the best way to man's heart is through their stomach. Well, the best way to a child's heart is through snacks and treats . (I made that up)

Instead of threatening them to limit their TV watching time or call their teachers, why not compensate their efforts with some good ol' sweets? 

Reinforcing their diligence pushes them more to do it. Scare tactics are not as good as rewards to encourage a behavior. Although, do the positive reinforcement practice sparingly.  

Appreciating their efforts is another way to help kids with homework as this motivates them. You can do this by:

Posting their aced assignments or exams

Displaying their art projects on the fridge

It showcases how much you value their efforts and how proud you are of them.

9. Walk Away Once the Whine Fest Starts

How does walking away help kids on how to do homework? Well, it doesn't. It's more for your benefit than them.

Having a rough day at work is physically and mentally exhausting . Add another layer of whining because kids don't want to do their assignments, and you enter a whole new level of stress .

If they keep on complaining, check their homework progress.

If they are only being grumpy even when they can do it, then try to motivate them. Tell them that the sooner they finish, the more time they'd have to watch their favorite TV shows .

If the homework is indeed truly difficult, then lend them a hand.

Ask their teacher about it, especially if the homework is beyond the kid's level of understanding. Inquire if it's appropriate to give kids complex problems. Their teachers would love to hear feedback from parents, on top of that, to aid the pupils with their homework!

10. Let Them Take the Lead

Their Homework is not only a test of one's learning but also of a kid's sense of responsibility .

Their answers should be theirs and they must own up if they fail to do it. If they left their homework at home, then parents shouldn't bail their kids out by bringing their assignments to class.

Matt Vaccaro, a first-grade teacher, says that he makes students do their assignment during recess if they forget to do it at home.

According to him "Once she starts missing playtime, she gets the message."

This seemingly harsh yet rightful way to deal with their negligence actually motivates the kids to be responsible in the succeeding homework. 

Helping them how to do homework is as necessary as teaching them to be responsible for it.

11. Keep Your Composure and Carry On

Homework meltdowns do occur, so be ready!

These are children's ways of saying they're overwhelmed . And sometimes these kids are indeed struggling so bad. 

Parents, please keep your composure. Breathe and stay calm . You risk compromising their progress if you too burst out in frustration. Remember that homework is an opportunity to cultivate better parent-child relationships .

Here are ways to address homework meltdowns:

A simple hug might do

Speak words of affirmation like "we'll figure it out"

Let them vent out to you while you listen calmly

Sometimes, kids just need to blow off some steam. Catering to these needs are subtle ways of helping kids with homework. See the mood change after they've burst the bubble.

If ever you did lash out (although we hope not). Apologize immediately and tell your child that you both need a timeout for 10 minutes. They can play for within that period and resume working on the homework once the time is up.

Helping kids with homework is a dual purpose. You make homework accomplishment more manageable for them and you make life easier for you. Consider the above homework tips next time your kids have assignments.

The How-to-do-Homework Hack!

Some kids might still see learning as a chore, and that's okay. I mean, who likes to wake up early and be in class when they can play at home all day?

Making the most out of their curiosity helps transform their perception of learning — from a tedious and boring chore to a fun and interactive learning experience. We believe that the way to encourage kids to do their homework is by making them see the fun in learning.

The best way to do this is using educational toys! 

The STEMscope portable microscope is a good tool to cultivate your child's curiosity. This handheld science gadget is an all-around partner for your kid's best learning! 

Once they activate their curiosity, they develop the insatiable desire to learn, after that, they will see homework as fun learning opportunity!

Check out our complete catalog of science toys to find the best toy for your kid!

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How important is homework, and how much should parents help?

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homework rules for parents

A version of this post was  originally published  by Parenting Translator. Sign up for  the newsletter  and follow Parenting Translator  on Instagram .

In recent years, homework has become a very hot topic . Many parents and educators have raised concerns about homework and questioned how effective it is in enhancing students’ learning. There are also concerns that students may be getting too much homework, which ultimately interferes with quality family time and opportunities for physical activity and play . Research suggests that these concerns may be valid. For example, one study reported that elementary school students, on average, are assigned three times  the recommended amount of homework.

So what does the research say? What are the potential risks and benefits of homework, and how much is too much?

Academic benefits

First, research finds that homework is associated with higher scores on academic standardized tests for middle and high school students, but not elementary school students . A recent experimental study in Romania found some benefit for a small amount of writing homework in elementary students but not math homework. Yet, interestingly, this positive impact only occurred when students were given a moderate amount of homework (about 20 minutes on average).

Non-academic benefits

The goal of homework is not simply to improve academic skills. Research finds that homework may have some non-academic benefits, such as building responsibility , time management skills, and task persistence . Homework may also increase parents’ involvement in their children’s schooling. Yet, too much homework may also have some negative impacts on non-academic skills by reducing opportunities for free play , which is essential for the development of language, cognitive, self-regulation and social-emotional skills. Homework may also interfere with physical activity and too much homework is associated with an increased risk for being overweight . As with the research on academic benefits, this research also suggests that homework may be beneficial when it is minimal.

What is the “right” amount of homework?

Research suggests that homework should not exceed 1.5 to 2.5 hours per night for high school students and no more than one hour per night for middle school students. Homework for elementary school students should be minimal and assigned with the aim of building self-regulation and independent work skills. Any more than this and homework may no longer have a positive impact. 

The National Education Association recommends 10 minutes of homework per grade and there is also some experimental evidence that backs this up.

Overall translation

Research finds that homework provides some academic benefit for middle and high school students but is less beneficial for elementary school students. Research suggests that homework should be none or minimal for elementary students, less than one hour per night for middle school students, and less than 1.5 to 2.5 hours for high school students. 

What can parents do?

Research finds that parental help with homework is beneficial but that it matters more how the parent is helping rather than  how often  the parent is helping.

So how should parents help with homework, according to the research? 

  • Focus on providing general monitoring, guidance and encouragement, but allow children to generate answers on their own and complete their homework as independently as possible . Specifically, be present while they are completing homework to help them to understand the directions, be available to answer simple questions, or praise and acknowledge their effort and hard work. Research shows that allowing children more autonomy in completing homework may benefit their academic skills.
  • Only provide help when your child asks for it and step away whenever possible. Research finds that too much parental involvement or intrusive and controlling involvement with homework is associated with worse academic performance . 
  • Help your children to create structure and develop some routines that help your child to independently complete their homework . Have a regular time and place for homework that is free from distractions and has all of the materials they need within arm’s reach. Help your child to create a checklist for homework tasks. Create rules for homework with your child. Help children to develop strategies for increasing their own self-motivation. For example, developing their own reward system or creating a homework schedule with breaks for fun activities. Research finds that providing this type of structure and responsiveness is related to improved academic skills.
  • Set specific rules around homework. Research finds an association between parents setting rules around homework and academic performance. 
  • Help your child to view homework as an opportunity to learn and improve skills. Parents who view homework as a learning opportunity (that is, a “mastery orientation”) rather than something that they must get “right” or complete successfully to obtain a higher grade (that is, a “performance orientation”) are more likely to have children with the same attitudes. 
  • Encourage your child to persist in challenging assignments and emphasize difficult assignments as opportunities to grow . Research finds that this attitude is associated with student success. Research also indicates that more challenging homework is associated with enhanced academic performance.
  • Stay calm and positive during homework. Research shows that mothers showing positive emotions while helping with homework may improve children’s motivation in homework.
  • Praise your child’s hard work and effort during homework.   This type of praise is likely to increase motivation. In addition, research finds that putting more effort into homework may be associated with enhanced development of conscientiousness in children.
  • Communicate with your child and the teacher about any problems your child has with homework and the teacher’s learning goals. Research finds that open communication about homework is associated with increased academic performance.

Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of  Parenting Translator , a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.

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Principals: here’s the secret weapon you may not be using, principal hotline: why is my principal so insensitive, principal’s beginning of the school year checklist, are charter schools leading the way on teacher retirement, win a library of 2,400+ ebooks for your students, the pain and agony of the school bus: a tale of suffering and survival, 9 teacher motivation killers — is your school guilty, betsy devos nomination: thankfully, essa would tie her hands, 3 surefire ways to build trust among teachers, 21 ways to ensure that students complete their homework tasks.

homework rules for parents

Are you looking for ways to ensure that students complete homework tasks? If so, keep reading.

1. Make sure the learner knows that homework not finished and turned in on time must still be finished and turned in.

2. Get the learner to orally repeat the homework task to reinforce the learner’s understanding of the task.

3. Get the learner to prioritize tasks by importance (e.g., task A must be done today, task B can be done today, and task C can wait until tomorrow).

4. Find a tutor (e.g., a volunteer in the community, one of the learner’s classmates, etc.) to help the learner finish homework .

5. Get the learner to set a timer to finish tasks in a sensible period.

6. Provide instructions orally to increase the likelihood of the learner’s comprehension of homework tasks .

7. Urge the learner to follow a less desirable task with a more desirable task . Make the conclusion of the first appropriate to perform the second.

8. Provide consistent expectations within the capacity and ability level of the learner.

9. Urge the learner to set time limits for finishing homework tasks . Urge the learner to be aware of time constraints when working on projects.

10. Urge the learner to say a mantra to themselves when they bring work home (e.g., I will finish, I will finish, I will finish).

11. Reinforce all measures of improvement.

12. Connect with the learner’s parents about the need to create homework rules at home (e.g., start homework upon arriving home from school, finish homework before watching TV or talking on the phone, ask for help when appropriate, etc.).

13. Urge the learner to lessen the number of visual distractions around them (e.g., move their work area away from windows, doors, kitchen, TV, etc.).

14. Urge the learner to put finished homework tasks in a designated place to be taken to school (e.g., in front of the door, at the bottom of the stairs, etc.).

15. Create homework task rules: • Remain on-task. • Finish tasks. • Meet task expectations. Examine rules often. Praise students for following the rules.

16. Urge the learner to select exciting or stimulating learning activities as a reward for finishing less exciting learning activities (e.g., finish homework before going to the mall).

17. Get the learner to keep a chart or graph representing the number of homework tasks finished and returned to school.

18. Urge the learner’s parents to check over their child’s homework when they are finished so the learner can be sure that everything is finished.

19. Connect the learner to other resource persons who may be of help in performing homework tasks (e.g., librarian, special education teacher, other staff members with expertise or time to help, etc.).

20. Connect with parents (e.g., notes home, phone calls, etc.) to disseminate information about the learner’s progress. The parents may reinforce the learner at home for returning finished homework to 21. Consider using an education app to help the student sharpen their organizational skills. Click here to view a list of apps that we recommend .

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Homework Guidelines for Elementary and Middle School Teachers

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Homework; the term elicits a myriad of responses. Students are naturally opposed to the idea of homework. No student ever says, “I wish my teacher would assign me more homework.” Most students begrudge homework and find any opportunity or possible excuse to avoid doing it.

Educators themselves are split on the issue. Many teachers assign daily homework seeing it as a way to further develop and reinforce core academic skills, while also teaching students responsibility. Other educators refrain from assigning daily homework. They view it as unnecessary overkill that often leads to frustration and causes students to resent school and learning altogether. 

Parents are also divided on whether or not they welcome homework. Those who welcome it see it as an opportunity for their children to reinforce critical learning skills. Those who loathe it see it as an infringement of their child’s time. They say it takes away from extra-curricular activities, play time, family time, and also adds unnecessary stress.

Research on the topic is also inconclusive. You can find research that strongly supports the benefits of assigning regular homework, some that denounce it as having zero benefits, with most reporting that assigning homework offers some positive benefits, but also can be detrimental in some areas.

The Effects of Homework

Since opinions vary so drastically, coming to a consensus on homework is nearly impossible. We sent a survey out to parents of a school regarding the topic, asking parents these two basic questions:

  • How much time is your child spending working on homework each night?
  • Is this amount of time too much, too little, or just right?

The responses varied significantly. In one 3 rd grade class with 22 students, the responses regarding how much time their child spends on homework each night had an alarming disparity. The lowest amount of time spent was 15 minutes, while the largest amount of time spent was 4 hours. Everyone else fell somewhere in between. When discussing this with the teacher, she told me that she sent home the same homework for every child and was blown away by the vastly different ranges in time spent completing it. The answers to the second question aligned with the first. Almost every class had similar, varying results making it really difficult to gauge where we should go as a school regarding homework.

While reviewing and studying my school’s homework policy and the results of the aforementioned survey, I discovered a few important revelations about homework that I think anyone looking at the topic would benefit from:

1. Homework should be clearly defined. Homework is not unfinished classwork that the student is required to take home and complete. Homework is “extra practice” given to take home to reinforce concepts that they have been learning in class. It is important to note that teachers should always give students time in class under their supervision to complete class work. Failing to give them an appropriate amount of class time increases their workload at home. More importantly, it does not allow the teacher to give immediate feedback to the student as to whether or not they are doing the assignment correctly. What good does it do if a student completes an assignment if they are doing it all incorrectly? Teachers must find a way to let parents know what assignments are homework and which ones are classwork that they did not complete.

2. The amount of time required to complete the same homework assignment varies significantly from student to student. This speaks to personalization. I have always been a big fan of customizing homework to fit each individual student. Blanket homework is more challenging for some students than it is for others. Some fly through it, while others spend excessive amounts of time completing it.  Differentiating homework will take some additional time for teachers in regards to preparation, but it will ultimately be more beneficial for students.

The National Education Association recommends that students be given 10-20 minutes of homework each night and an additional 10 minutes per advancing grade level. The following chart adapted from the National Education Associations recommendations can be used as a resource for teachers in Kindergarten through the 8 th grade.

It can be difficult for teachers to gauge how much time students need to complete an assignment. The following charts serve to streamline this process as it breaks down the average time it takes for students to complete a single problem in a variety of subject matter for common assignment types. Teachers should consider this information when assigning homework. While it may not be accurate for every student or assignment, it can serve as a starting point when calculating how much time students need to complete an assignment. It is important to note that in grades where classes are departmentalized it is important that all teachers are on the same page as the totals in the chart above is the recommended amount of total homework per night and not just for a single class.

Kindergarten – 4th Grade (Elementary Recommendations)

*If students are required to write the questions, then you will need to add 2 additional minutes per problem. (i.e. 1-English problem requires 4 minutes if students are required to write the sentence/question.)

5th – 8th Grade (Middle School Recommendations)

*If students are required to write the questions, then you will need to add 2 additional minutes per problem. (i.e. 1-English problem requires 5 minutes if students are required to write the sentence/question.)

Assigning Homework Example

It is recommended that 5 th graders have 50-60 minutes of homework per night. In a self-contained class, a teacher assigns 5 multi-step math problems, 5 English problems, 10 spelling words to be written 3x each, and 10 science definitions on a particular night.

3. There are a few critical academic skill builders that students should be expected to do every night or as needed. Teachers should also consider these things. However, they may or may not, be factored into the total time to complete homework. Teachers should use their best judgment to make that determination:

  • Independent Reading – 20-30 minutes per day
  • Study for Test/Quiz - varies
  • Multiplication Math Fact Practice (3-4) – varies - until facts are mastered
  • Sight Word Practice (K-2) – varies - until all lists are mastered

4. Coming to a general consensus regarding homework is almost impossible.  School leaders must bring everyone to the table, solicit feedback, and come up with a plan that works best for the majority. This plan should be reevaluated and adjusted continuously. What works well for one school may not necessarily be the best solution for another.

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LIBRARY OF ARTICLES: : Discipline Topics :

Using rules for discipline that works, the benefits of rules.

  • Two Types of Rules
  • What to Consider when Setting Rules
  • What to Do When Children Don’t Follow a Rule

A Common Scenario

Recently, a parent at one of our programs, who was very frustrated after a recent visit to a family friend, recounted:

“Last week we took our four-year-old Jessie and six-year-old Alexia to our friend’s house. She specifically asked us to bring the kids since she hadn’t seen them in a long time.  While we were there, they behaved very badly.  About an hour into the visit, they started going through my friend’s cabinets, pulling things out so they could see better what was inside each.  They took food from the refrigerator without asking.  And they created a mess and wouldn’t clean up after themselves.  They didn’t even properly thank our friend when we left.    My husband and I were so frustrated and embarrassed and angry with them that we said we would take away television for the next three months!”

One of the things that this parent eventually came to realize was that Jessie and Alexia had not been told in advance of the visit how they should behave when they were in someone else’s house. 

This is a perfect example of how having rules in place would have been very helpful.   

The Basics of Rules

Without clearly communicated rules, chaos can reign.

Parents can resist setting rules based on strong reactions they have from their own childhoods. 

If you were more on the rebellious end of things, you may find rules to be restrictive.  You may immediately think of ways to get around the rules, and as a parent, may chafe at the idea of having to set such limits for your children.

Conversely, if you were a more rule-abiding child, you may find it difficult to understand why your own children do not obey the rules and why it can be such a struggle to get them to respect authority.

Rules do have an important place in your parenting arsenal.  

Rules help you to:

maintain a calm environment.

be ACTIVE leaders in your  home rather than  REACTIVE. Because rules are pre-set, they force you to decide what is important to you.

provide structure for your family, which helps your children feel safe and cared for.

instill in your children some of the long-term traits you would like them to have, such as being:

Independent

Rules

Respectful of self and others

Loving and caring

Appreciative and grateful

Empathic and generous

Able to solve problems

pass on your values to your children. The things you make rules about indicate what you feel is important.

let children know what you expect and, thereby, enables them eventually to monitor their own behavior.

Setting Standards

Rules are an important element in raising children to become responsible by creating structure and imparting your values.  They set standards, hold children accountable, let them know how they are expected to behave, and typically have consequences for compliance and non-compliance. 

By expecting children to live up to your expectations, you show them that they are capable, which in turn, builds their self-esteem.  

Building Trust

By pre-thinking the behaviors you want to see and by clearly communicating your desires, you can build trust with your children and a sense of security in them. When there is a problem, rules can help you to alter the behavior, while preserving your relationship, which is the foundation of all parenting.

Ultimately, your goal is to raise children who are independent, responsible individuals who can create lasting relationships and contribute to society. The rules you set in your family should help you to assist your children to reach this goal.  

Using rules can help you to maintain your children’s self-esteem and your connection with them even as you discipline them.

Rules can be made about different topics :

Read the following comments made by a child and how the parent responded using a rule about values such as respecting people and property and helping others.

Child : “I don’t want to help deliver this dinner to your friend.  I don’t care that she just broke her leg. I want to have a play date.”

Parent : “In our family, we help those in need.”

Child : “I don’t want to give some of my allowance to charity.”

Parent : “In our family, we help those in need.  You must give a small portion of your allowance to charity.”

Rules can also be made around health issues, such as the food you eat, exercise, and sleep. Again, see how this parent talked to her child about health rules.

Child : “Why do I have to go to bed so early?  You get to stay up late.”

Parent : “We need to take care of our bodies.  When you are older, you can stay up later.”

Child : (ON THE VERGE OF A TEMPER TANTRUM) “ I want to buy this candy.  I have the money.  You are so mean.”

Parent : “We need to take care of our bodies.  Candy will not help you to grow strong and healthy.”

Possessions

This parent used rules about possessions, such as putting away items. For example:

Child : “Mom, I’ll clean up my Legos later.  Just push them to the side on the floor.”

Parent : “ In our family, we take care of our possessions.   Clean up your Legos now before pieces get lost or broken.”

Child : “I left my jacket outside at Billy’s house.  Oh well.  You can buy me a new one.”

Parent : “In our family, we take care of our possessions.  You can either call Billy and ask him to bring your coat inside for you, or we can go over there for you to get it yourself.”

Responsibilities

Here are comments by a parent about responsibilities, such as chores and homework:

Child : “I’ll do my report later.  I want to watch this cartoon now.”

Parent : “In our family, you need a plan for getting your work done before you can play.   What is your plan?”

Child : “Yeah, yeah.  I’ll take the trash out later.”

Parent : “ In our family, you need a plan for getting your chores done before you can go and play.   What is your plan?”

You may have noticed, the parent used the same general rule in various scenarios.  It is better to have fewer, more general rules than to have lots of specific rules.  It is easier for your children and for you to remember the more general rules. 

Also, many parents complain that their children are like “little attorneys,” finding loopholes in the rules. It is harder to fight general principles.

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Two Types of Rules: Non-negotiable and Negotiable Rules

Non-negotiable rules.

When you set a non-negotiable rule, you are setting the rule without any discussion.  These are rules that you insist upon.   Parents quite naturally set non-negotiable rules when it comes to safety – you don’t ask your children if they want to use a car-seat, you tell them they have to. 

Non-negotiable rules teach children eventually how to keep themselves safe because over time, they begin to use these rules on their own without your having to monitor them.

Other examples of non-negotiable rules include:

“You must wear your helmet when riding your bike.” “You may not cross the street by yourself.” “You must be home by 5:00 pm.” “Bedtime is at 8:00 pm.”

The younger the child, the more you need to set these non-negotiable rules.  As your children mature, you hand over more of the power for self-governing to them and they can have more of a say.

Negotiable Rules

Use negotiable rules to allow children to have input, keeping in mind their age and maturity level so that the amount and type of input is appropriate. 

Negotiable rules teach children to think and give them practice in making decisions.   They learn to advocate for themselves, express their ideas, and develop arguments for what they want. 

For example, if a growing child feels that an 8 PM bedtime is too early, you can ask him why he thinks so, what time he thinks makes sense, how he plans to handle getting up on time in the morning, etc. 

As children mature and are able to handle more control over their lives, more and more areas become negotiable.  

Parents often create negotiable rules around the following issues

Bedtimes: “Let’s decide together what bedtime should be on the weekends.”

Snack choices: “We can talk about what snacks you would like in your lunchbox.”

Chores: “ Here is a list of chores that need to be done. You can choose 2 that you are willing to do.”

Clothing: “What do you need to buy to wear to school this year?  Here is a budget you can work with.”

Children’s Self-Esteem Rises

Children’s self-esteem increases as they see that their parents are willing to consider their input and their ideas. 

Their cooperation usually increases as they have a say in the rules.  They are less likely to resist and there is less conflict in the home when children are involved in the decision about the rule.

It’s and Art, Not a Science

It is an art to decide when a rule can be negotiable.  It depends on the child’s maturity level, judgment, and history with being able to handle increased responsibility.  

At certain times in development, such as adolescence, parents may need to reign children in by switching back to a non-negotiable rule if that is what it takes to keep their children safe and to instill their values.

For example, computer or cell phone access and curfew are all areas where you may hand-off the baton, but if your children are unable to handle the freedom, you may need to retake control of the baton and set non-negotiable rules.

Remember that just because a child wants to re-negotiate a rule, you don’t have to change it, and that you can use the opportunity to teach your child about compromise and negotiation.

Furthermore, what is negotiable in one family may be non-negotiable in another and not important enough in a third family to even have a rule about it.

For example:

Family #1 – Negotiable: “Let’s discuss when you should do your homework: right after school or after dinner.” Family #2 – Non- negotiable: “The rule in our family is homework must be done before dinner.” Family #3 – No rule: “You decide when you do your homework.”

Another example:

Family  # 1 – Negotiable: “Let’s come up with a plan that we can all agree to about bringing food into the family room.” Family #2 – Non-negotiable: “All food is to be eaten in the kitchen.” Family #3 – No rule: “You decide where you want to eat.”

Seven Key Elements to Consider when Setting Rules

Be clear yourself about the rules you want..

This refers to being clear about your values and what you consider important.  Do you really care about this behavior enough to follow through?  If you don’t care enough or have the energy to follow through, perhaps this rule isn’t important enough to keep as a rule.  

Communicate the rule before you enforce it.

What is expected, when, by whom?  Sometimes you realize that a rule needs to be in place only as something goes wrong.  

Whenever possible, let your children know beforehand what the rule is going to be and how you intend to enforce it.  Sometimes you may assume your children know what the rule is, but they don’t – it is important to be clear with them. 

And it is helpful if possible for the consequences to be known in advance.  

Decide if the rule is reasonable.

Does it take into account your child’s age, maturity level, temperament, and abilities?  As you decide on the rules and their consequences, you need to remember that fair does not always mean equal.  

Assess whether the rule is enforceable.

As parents, you can hope to guide and direct your children, but your control is incomplete. 

For example, wanting your children to eat a healthy lunch at school can be a guideline, but not a rule since you will not be there to supervise. Similarly, you can have a rule in your home, such as “No ‘R-rated’ movies;” however, you cannot hold your children to that standard when they are in someone else’s home.

  What can you do if you cannot enforce the rule?

You can choose to have the play dates in your home,

you can share your values with the other parents,

you can hope that your children will limit their behavior,

you can let your children know they can always call home if they are uncomfortable with the rules in a home they are visiting.

Be sure that you adhere to the rule.

It is easier to have your children follow the rules if you follow the rule yourself. 

For example, it will be harder to convince your children to clean up their rooms if you do not keep your bedroom or the house in general in good order.

As adults, the rules may look different – you may have more things to keep in place, a later bedtime, or your choice of certain TV or movies.  Adults (and older children) may have certain privileges because of increased maturity and responsibility.

Although it may look different at different ages, the underlying principles can be the same – respecting your possessions, getting enough sleep, and respecting your body.  

Have a plan in place in case the rule is broken.

While it would be nice for your children to follow your rules simply because you have created them, it is unrealistic to expect them to do so.  In part, children test your rules because they need to test the limits.  Sometimes children need to experience the consequences first-hand.  

Consider if you really care enough to follow through.

If you don’t care enough or have the energy to follow through, perhaps this rule isn’t important enough to keep as a rule. 

Since each family has different values and different temperaments, each family will decide which rules they are going to enforce, such as in the earlier examples in deciding when children must do their homework or where they can eat.

It is okay to choose to NOT focus on certain behaviors at certain points in development.  

For example, a child who comes home from school tired and stressed may need to play before he can face his homework.  In that case, the family may choose to put aside their “work before play rule.”

What to Do When Children Don’t Follow a Rule

One question that parents usually ask is “What can I do when my children protest and resist obeying a rule?”

You can state the rule

“The rule in our family is homework before television time.”  

You can repeat the rule

“Remember our rule – Homework gets done before watching television.”  

You can be a broken-record

Continue to repeat the rule: “ Turn off the TV.”  “The TV needs to be off now.”  “Turn off the TV now.”  

You can counter complaints with:

“Nevertheless…”

“That may be….”

“I expect……”

“You need to….”

You can stay on topic

“We aren’t talking about……”

Which leads to the last step:

You can take ACTION

This can include having discussions about inappropriate behavior and what the children can do instead, separating children who are fighting, and imposing consequences such as using time-outs, withdrawing privileges, and having children make amends if someone was hurt by their actions.  

If children are fighting over a toy, you can take the toy away until they decide how to handle the situation. If they are fighting over the TV, you can turn it off. If they don’t put their bicycle in the garage at night, the privilege of riding it can be suspended for a short time. If they don’t complete a chore, then they don’t get to have a play date or other privilege until it is completed.

Throughout, you want to use the simplest and clearest consequences to get your point across.  It is not the severity, but the certainty of the consequence that re-enforces your rules.

A Common Scenario Revisited

The parents in our opening vignette took some time to think about what was important to them when they visit someone’s house. 

Once they were clear about their expectations and what they could reasonably require of their four- and six- year-olds, they decided to teach certain manners, practice using “please and thank-you,” and asking permission before going into other people’s possessions.

Additionally, they showed the kids how they would like to have their grown-up conversation interrupted.

Prior to the next visit, they reviewed with their kids what the family rules were about proper behavior when they are guests in someone else’s home.

They had the girls bring a game so they could have something to keep them occupied.

And finally, the parents limited the length of their visit so they could leave on a high-note – long before the children’s behavior fell apart.

All was not perfect. However, with a few reminders of the rules, the children were able to exhibit the type of behavior and be the kind of guests that the parents had hoped for.  

By establishing firm rules in your home, you can eliminate some of the conflict that occurs as you discipline your children.    The rules also will help you to keep a long-term perspective in mind as you raise your children to become people whom  you will enjoy and respect as adults.

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For more information about discipline check out the following books. Purchasing books from our website through Amazon.com supports the work we do to help parents do the best job they can to raise their children.

Growing Up Again by Jean Illsley Clark

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12 House Rules Only Strict Parents Had

Posted: October 30, 2023 | Last updated: November 28, 2023

<p>Despite their best intentions, parents are not infallible. They will make mistakes, whether it’s a moment of anger, an oversight, or a decision that doesn’t turn out as expected. Acknowledging these mistakes can be challenging.</p>

Growing up with strict parents can be a unique experience. These parents tend to have a set of house rules that are often quite different from those of more lenient households. While some of these rules may seem strict or unusual, they are usually designed with the intention of teaching important life lessons and values.

<p>Time is a valuable commodity, and those who consistently arrive late can easily test others’ patience. Waiting around for someone who habitually shows up after the scheduled time can be both frustrating and disrespectful of others’ commitments.</p>

1. Curfew Was Non-Negotiable

Strict parents were known for enforcing strict curfews on their children. No matter the occasion or how responsible the child might be, curfew time was sacrosanct. This meant that even on special occasions like birthdays or school events, these kids had to be back home before the clock struck a certain hour. The reasoning behind this was often a mix of safety concerns and a desire to instill discipline and responsibility in their offspring.

homework rules for parents

2. Chores Were a Daily Ritual

In households with strict parents, chores were not an occasional or weekend activity; they were a daily ritual. Kids were expected to pitch in with household tasks, from doing the dishes to mowing the lawn. This not only taught them valuable life skills but also instilled a sense of responsibility and the importance of contributing to the family’s well-being.

homework rules for parents

3. No Sleepovers on School Nights

Sleepovers were a coveted activity for many children, but strict parents had a strict “no sleepovers on school nights” policy. This meant that weekday sleepovers with friends were out of the question. The rationale behind this rule was to ensure that their kids got enough sleep and were well-rested for school the next day, prioritizing education over social activities during the week.

<p>Perfectionistic parenting involves setting unrealistically high standards and expecting flawless performance from their children in every aspect of their lives. These parents often focus on achievements and external validation, putting immense pressure on their children to meet their expectations. As adults, children raised under perfectionistic parenting may struggle with self-esteem issues, anxiety, and a constant fear of failure. The weight of these expectations can eventually lead them to sever ties to seek personal fulfillment and relief from constant judgment.</p>

4. Homework Came First, Always

Homework was a top priority in households with strict parents. These parents emphasized the importance of academics and expected their children to complete their homework before engaging in any leisure activities. Whether it was playing outside, watching TV, or hanging out with friends, everything had to wait until the homework was done. This rule was aimed at fostering good study habits and academic success.

<p>Finally, as technology and online trends continue to evolve, it’s vital for parents to stay informed. Educate yourself about new platforms, apps, and online dangers that could potentially affect your child’s safety. By staying knowledgeable, you can adapt your strategies and better guide your children through the ever-changing digital landscape.</p>

5. Limited Screen Time

Strict parents often imposed limits on screen time. Whether it was television, video games, or computer usage, children with strict parents had a specific allotment of time for these activities. This was done to prevent excessive exposure to screens and encourage other forms of play, reading, or outdoor activities. It was seen as a way to maintain a healthy balance between digital entertainment and real-life experiences.

<p>Parents dream of raising children who are accepting, inclusive, and empathetic. They long to tell their children that diversity is a beautiful aspect of life and that embracing differences leads to a richer and more harmonious world. Parents want their children to see beyond societal labels and stereotypes and appreciate the unique qualities that each individual brings. They secretly hope that their children will grow up to be advocates for equality and agents of positive change.</p>

6. Dress Code Was Enforced

In households with strict parents, there was often a dress code in place, especially when it came to leaving the house. These parents had certain standards of modesty and appropriateness that they expected their children to adhere to. This included guidelines on the length of skirts or shorts, the type of clothing, and even restrictions on wearing certain items like revealing or offensive attire.

<p>Manners and politeness were highly valued in households with strict parents. Children were expected to address adults with “Mr.” or “Mrs.” and use “please” and “thank you” without fail. Disrespectful behavior, backtalk, or rudeness were met with swift consequences. This rule was aimed at instilling respect and courtesy in their children, both at home and in the wider world.</p>

7. Politeness Was Non-Negotiable

Manners and politeness were highly valued in households with strict parents. Children were expected to address adults with “Mr.” or “Mrs.” and use “please” and “thank you” without fail. Disrespectful behavior, backtalk, or rudeness were met with swift consequences. This rule was aimed at instilling respect and courtesy in their children, both at home and in the wider world.

<p>Parents often have their own dreams and aspirations for their children, but it’s essential to recognize that kids have their unique paths in life. They may pursue careers, interests, or lifestyles that differ from their parents’ expectations, and that’s a reality parents may find challenging to accept.</p>

8. Extracurricular Activities Were Limited

While strict parents recognized the importance of extracurricular activities, they often limited the number of activities their children could participate in. This was to ensure that their kids didn’t become overscheduled and overwhelmed. Strict parents believed in the value of balance and wanted to avoid the stress and exhaustion that can come from overcommitting to various activities.

<p>Electric scooters emerged as a promising solution for urban commuting, offering a convenient and eco-friendly alternative to traditional transportation. Excitement surrounded their launch, with people envisioning a seamless and efficient way to navigate city streets. However, users soon discovered various challenges, such as limited battery life, a lack of available scooters during peak times, and safety concerns regarding inexperienced riders. The initial excitement of zipping through traffic quickly faded for many, leaving them seeking more reliable transportation options.</p>

9. No Dating Until a Certain Age

Dating was a subject of contention in households with strict parents. Many of them had a rule that their children couldn’t date until they reached a certain age or demonstrated a certain level of maturity. This rule was often enforced to protect their children from premature romantic involvement and to prioritize their emotional well-being.

<p>Becoming a parent brings immense joy, but it also presents unique challenges. Raising children requires dedication, patience, and selflessness. Adults must learn to balance their own needs with the responsibilities of nurturing and guiding their children. The journey of parenthood includes making difficult decisions, setting boundaries, and adapting to the ever-changing needs of their growing children.</p>

10. Family Dinners Were Mandatory

Strict parents valued family time, and one way they ensured it was by making family dinners mandatory. Regardless of their busy schedules, everyone in the family was expected to gather around the table for dinner. This rule was designed to promote bonding, communication, and a sense of togetherness among family members.

<p>Above all, parents want their children to know that they are loved unconditionally. They long to express the depths of their love and support, even though words may fall short. Parents want their children to feel secure in the knowledge that their love is unwavering, regardless of their achievements or mistakes. It’s a love that transcends time, distance, and any challenges life may present. They hope that this unwavering love will be a constant source of strength and comfort for their children throughout their lives.</p>

11. Mandatory Homework Check-Ins

Strict parents were known for their commitment to their children’s education. In addition to enforcing strict homework completion rules, they often went the extra mile with mandatory homework check-ins. This meant that every evening, parents would sit down with their kids to review assignments, offer assistance, and ensure that their children were not only completing their work but also understanding the material.

<p>One commenter shared that they were not allowed to walk to school, even though it was only a block away. The parent would drop them off and pick them up every day, which made the commenter feel embarrassed and unable to develop independence. They missed out on the chance to bond with friends on the walk to and from school.</p>

12. The “No Excuses” Attendance Policy

In households with strict parents, there was a “no excuses” attendance policy. This meant that children were expected to attend school every day unless they were genuinely ill. Even on days when they didn’t feel like going to school or had minor ailments, the expectation was to tough it out and go to class. This rule was rooted in the belief that consistent attendance was vital for academic success.

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Spending your money on some activities and stuff doesn’t always have to mean that you will lose it. On the contrary, following intelligent and wise steps can even get you into a position where spending also means saving. Here are a few helpful tips from an online frugal community. 1. Preventative Maintenance The number-one-voted response...

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<p>One step-parent allowed their 9-year-old stepdaughter to spend hours alone in her room with markers and papers, assuming she was drawing or making a <a href="https://parentportfolio.com/wordless-picture-books/">picture book</a>. However, the parent later discovered that the child had been using the family calendar to make cards for everyone for upcoming holidays and birthdays. Although the parent did not ask the child about it, they were proud of the child’s logic and long-term planning abilities.</p>

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  2. Should Parents Help Kids With Their Homework?

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  3. Homework Tips for Parents by Erica Lamb

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  4. Homework: The Good and The Bad

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  5. Tips for Parents On How to Help With Homework. Homework time doesn't

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  6. Family House Rules. These rules are simple, straightforward and get

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COMMENTS

  1. PDF Homework: A Guide for Parents

    A general rule of thumb that is easy to remember is the expectation that children do 10 minutes of homework for each grade level (Henderson, 1996). Thus, first graders would be expected to do about 10 minutes of homework, second graders 20 minutes, third graders 30 minutes, and so on.

  2. How to Make a Better Homework Schedule for Your Family

    To develop a homework schedule, start by talking with your kids. Get their input on how they would like to manage their time and incorporate their homework into their daily routine. A successful homework schedule allows kids to finish their work and also have some free time. Give Kids an Option

  3. Top 10 Homework Tips (for Parents)

    Keep supplies — paper, pencils, glue, scissors — within reach. Schedule a regular study time. Some kids work best in the afternoon, following a snack and play period; others may prefer to wait until after dinner. Help them make a plan.

  4. 10 Top Homework Tips for Parents

    1. Establish a Routine The first step in creating a positive homework pathway for your child is primarily creating a routine. This may mean that parents may have to compromise with their children on the working conditions for homework time.

  5. 40 Top Parenting Tips for Navigating Homework Challenges

    Clear and Concise Instructions: Ensure instructions are short and to the point. Use visuals and watch for body language signals that show understanding. Break Tasks Into Manageable Chunks: If an assignment is extensive, break it down into smaller steps to make it more manageable.

  6. How to Establish a Great Homework Routine

    3. Establish Rules for Homework Time. A great homework routine will include some rules for how that time will be spent. This may include rules about silencing cell phones and putting them away during homework time. Rules around electronics and other distractions are some of the most important. Sure, your child may need a tablet or computer for ...

  7. 11 Best Homework Tips for Parents

    These tips will help you provide the guidance and encouragement your children need while fostering their independence and confidence in their abilities. 1. Establish a Routine. Creating a consistent homework routine is crucial for your child's success. Set aside a specific time each day for homework, ideally when your child is well-rested and ...

  8. High-School Homework Checklist for Parents

    Updated: December 1, 2022 High-School Homework Checklist for Parents Provide a quiet, well-lit space, away from distractions and with all the right study materials -- paper, pens and pencils, books, a dictionary, a desk, etc. Try to find a separate space for each of your kids, or schedule quiet times for homework in designated spaces.

  9. Homework Without Tears: 12 Homework Tips for Parents

    9. Communicate. Make sure you talk to your child's teacher and understand the purpose of homework and what the class rules are. 10. Build Metacognitive Skills. Help your child decide what homework is hard and what is easy, then encourage them to work on the hard stuff first so they're most alert for challenging work.

  10. Homework Tips for Parents

    Homework Tips for Parents Study the same things in different ways and places. Help your child learn about new words or content in a variety of ways. ... Find out what the teacher's homework rules are. If your child has a problem completing or understanding homework, call or e-mail the teacher to talk about the issue. Download this article.

  11. 9 Best Tips for Homework Success

    9. Let 'Em Vent. If your child is resisting doing their homework — or worse, is tearing up over it in frustration — soothe any pent-up worries by letting them complain. Listen, empathize ("Wow, that is a lot of work"), and state their feelings back to them ("You sound upset").

  12. PDF Homework Tips for Parents

    Homework Tips for Parents Homework is important, but helping children with homework isn't always easy. Here are some ... Find out what the teacher's homework rules are. If your child has a problem completing or understanding homework, call or e-mail the teacher to talk about the issue. For more tips, see "Helping Your Child Succeed in ...

  13. Homework: The Good and The Bad

    Mental Health, Research Written by Cara Goodwin, Ph.D. Homework: The Good and The Bad Homework. A single word that for many brings up memories of childhood stress. Now that you're a parent, you may be reminded of that feeling every time your child spills their backpack across the table.

  14. Helping Kids with Homework: 11 Actionable Tips for Parents

    1. Work Out a Working Routine Believe it or not, children love routines because they create structure. This helps children feel more secure because they know what to do and what's expected of them. Face it, nobody likes homeworks. But make it easier for your kids to do their's by doing routines such as below: What time should they start?

  15. An Age-By-Age Guide to Helping Kids Manage Homework

    Third to fifth grades. Many children will be able to do homework independently in grades 3-5. Even then, their ability to focus and follow through may vary from day to day. "Most children are ...

  16. How important is homework, and how much should parents help?

    The goal of homework is not simply to improve academic skills. Research finds that homework may have some non-academic benefits, such as building responsibility, time management skills, and task persistence. Homework may also increase parents' involvement in their children's schooling. Yet, too much homework may also have some negative ...

  17. Should I Stop Supervising My Teen's Homework?

    His work area should be separated as much as possible from siblings, pets, TV and text messages. Use Parenting Coach for tips on things like setting limits on the use of social media. Breaking assignments into chunks can help your son see that each task has a beginning, middle and end. This can reduce his frustration.

  18. PDF Homework Tips for Parents

    Explain! Whenever your child answers a math problem, ask him or her to explain the answer, even when the answer is correct. When students explain their thinking, they are deepening their understanding of math concepts. Have your child act out or draw what is happening in word problems.

  19. 21 Ways to Ensure That Students Complete Their Homework Tasks

    Connect with the learner's parents about the need to create homework rules at home (e.g., start homework upon arriving home from school, finish homework before watching TV or talking on the phone, ask for help when appropriate, etc.). 13.

  20. Outlining Simple Homework Guidelines for K-8 Teachers

    The following chart adapted from the National Education Associations recommendations can be used as a resource for teachers in Kindergarten through the 8 th grade. Grade Level. Recommended Amount of Homework Per Night. Kindergarten. 5 - 15 minutes. 1 st Grade. 10 - 20 minutes. 2 nd Grade. 20 - 30 minutes.

  21. Using Rules for Discipline that Works

    For example: Family #1 - Negotiable: "Let's discuss when you should do your homework: right after school or after dinner.". Family #2 - Non- negotiable: "The rule in our family is homework must be done before dinner.". Family #3 - No rule: "You decide when you do your homework.". Another example:

  22. 12 House Rules Only Strict Parents Had

    Homework was a top priority in households with strict parents. These parents emphasized the importance of academics and expected their children to complete their homework before engaging in any ...

  23. Homework Tips for Parents

    paper, scissors, glue, and tape pencils, pens, crayons, and markers good lighting Some children need a desk; others like to spread out on the floor. You can use pillows to create softer surfaces on chairs and floors. Some children like to rock or roll over when they are trying to concentrate.

  24. Homework Rules For Parents

    A top grade for homework will come as a pleasant bonus! Here's what you have to do to have a new 100% custom essay written for you by an expert. Order. ... Homework Rules For Parents, Cheap Best Essay Ghostwriting Site For College, Usa Top Custom Writing Services, Resume Contribute My Knowledge, Personal Essay Definition Wikipedia, Learning ...